


Spider to the Face

by AnonymousSpacePrince



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas likes animals better than people, Comedy, Dean totally has a soft spot for small animals, Fluff, Gen, Rated for spiders and language, Roger the tarantula, Sam may or may not get a spider to the face, Spiders, Very tiny little bit of Destiel but it's mostly platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 11:16:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7682395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousSpacePrince/pseuds/AnonymousSpacePrince
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas finds a tarantula being threatened by a bird and rescues it. Dean finds a glorious way to screw with Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spider to the Face

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this prompt:  
> "Person A and person B attempt to prank Person C by dangling Person B's pet spider over them while they sleep. Person B accidentally drops the tarantula onto C's face" on otpprompts and immediately imagined Dean and Cas dropping a spider on Sam's face. This is a work of art if I do say so myself.

    "Cas, where in the _hell_  did you find that?"  
    Castiel has just wandered into Sam and Dean's room from outside the motel, with his hands cupped carefully together. There's a large, fuzzy tarantula in his hands, crawling around like it's trying to get a look at the room from over Cas' hands. "He was outside in the parking lot, and a rude bird was trying to pick at his legs."  
    Dean pinches the bridge of his nose, but he can't help but laugh a little. "Why are you so damn compassionate towards animals?"  
    "Because they are easier to understand than humans," Cas explains nonchalantly. He adjusts his hands as the spider tries to climb out of them. "We have to go to the pet store, he needs a place to live." Cas walks over towards Dean to let him look more closely at the spider.  
    Dean gives Cas a look, but inspects the spider anyway. He's never seen a tarantula up close, and he has to admit it's pretty cool. "Cas, we can't keep a spider as a pet."  
    Dean reaches a finger out to gently touch the spider's back, and the tarantula retreats to the other side of Cas' cupped hands. "We don't have to keep him forever, but he should stay here at least until that nasty bird finds a place to be."  
    Dean laughs quietly, trying again to pet the spider. It almost flips itself out of Castiel's hands trying to get away, so Cas pulls his hands away from Dean. "You're odd, you know that?"  
    "Yes, Dean, I'm aware that you think I'm odd. Take me to the pet store or I will just teleport."  
    "No one needs to see tha-" Dean's gaze settles on his brother, fast asleep on one of the motel beds. He's lying on his back, with his face completely vulnerable. A wicked idea enters Dean's mind. "Okay, Cas, I'll take you to the pet store _if_ you help me scare the crap outta Sam with that spider first."  
    Cas narrows his eyes. "I do not want the tarantula to get hurt. That is specifically what I'm trying to prevent."  
    "Don't worry, he won't get hurt." Dean reaches over to try to pet the spider one more time. This time, the spider cautiously lets Dean touch its back with one finger and Dean's a little surprised that it's actually soft.  "We'll just dangle him over Sam's face and wake him up." Dean touches one of the tarantula's legs and it quickly pulls it in close to his body, away from Dean's finger. "Okay, small steps, little buddy," he whispers to the spider. Cas smiles because he knows the tarantula has won Dean over.  
    "Fine, but he needs a name first."  
    "What about 'Roger'?" Dean suggests. Cas raises an eyebrow.  
    "Roger the spider?"  
    "Why not?" Dean responds with a grin.  
    "Fine, but that is only a temporary name."  
    "Fair," Dean agrees. "Now let's torment Sam."  
    "Here, take... Roger," Cas says, holding the spider out to Dean.  
    "No way, he likes you better. He barely even let me touch him."  
    "He'll trust you more if you hold him," Cas insists. "Just cup your hands and I'll set him there."  
    Dean looks hesitant, but he mimics the way Cas has his hands cupped. Cas carefully sets his own hands over Dean's, and then carefully slides them away and lets the tarantula fall safely into Dean's hands instead. The spider crawls around confusedly at first, but then he settles down and and cautiously walks around on Dean's palms. Dean giggles (in a _totally_ manly way, of course) and says, "his legs tickle."  
    Cas smiles at Dean stupidly, because he's never seen the ordinarily-steely hunter quite like this. Dean lifts Roger closer to his face so he can get a better look at him. "Hey there, little guy. I promise I'm not gonna hurt you, you're just gonna help me scare my brother, okay?" He coos gently to the spider.  
    Roger, as if completely understanding Dean's words, lifts one of his legs in Dean's direction. If Dean giggles again because of that, it's nobody's damn business.  
    "See, he likes you fine now," Cas says.  
    "Why do I feel like we're just gonna keep this fucking spider?" Roger recoils a bit, and Dean looks apologetically at him. "Oh no, I don't think he likes it when I curse."  
    Cas is floored by the childlike innocence the spider seems to have brought out in Dean.  
    "Okay, how do we dangle Roger over Sam's face without hurting him?" I think it would hurt to hold him by the leg."  
    "Just hold him by the abdomen, and don't squeeze him," Cas helpfully suggests.  
    "Good idea."  
    Dean walks over to Sam's bed with Cas following, and suppresses a laugh when he pictures Sam's reaction.  
    "Okay, little guy, it's show time," Dean tells Roger. He carefully shifts the spider into one hand and then picks him up with his thumb and forefinger. He's not used to holding such delicate creatures- actually, he's used to the exact opposite- and he's terrified to accidentally hurt the tarantula.  
    Careful not to hold him too tight, Dean dangles Roger directly over Sam's face. He's a little surprised to hear Cas laugh quietly beside him. Roger spreads all his legs out like he's wind surfing, and the sight prompts them both to laugh harder. Dean holds Roger a couple inches above Sam's face, trying to control his laughter while making sure not to squeeze the little spider.  
    In his attempts to not hold him too _hard_ , Dean accidentally loosens his grip too much and Roger falls directly onto Sam's face. The next three things happen in rapid succession. First, Dean bursts out laughing and exclaims, too loudly, "oops!" and Cas starts laughing too. Second, Sam wakes up, sees the tarantula directly in front of his eyes and screams. Third, Dean scoops Roger back up safely into his hands and retreats away from his very angry brother.  
    "Dean! What the hell?! Is that a tarantula?!"  
    "Yes! He's our new pet! We're going to the pet store, bye!" Dean quickly yells as he runs out the front door with Cas.  
    Before the door shuts, he hears Sam yell, "most couples just get a dog!"

    Outside the motel, Dean and Cas are laughing uncontrollably, like ten-year-old kids. "That- that was awesome," Dean says through fits of laughter.  
    Cas is still laughing too hard to speak, but he tries anyway. "You-" laughter. "You dropped Roger-" more laughter. "On Sam's face!" Cas doubles over with renewed amusement. Roger is very anxious in Dean's hands, so Dean settles down and cups his palms calmingly around the spider.  
    "I'm sorry Roger, I didn't mean to drop you. It's okay, don't worry."  
    Cas slowly calms himself down too, and comes to check on Roger. He pets the spider with a gentle finger and Roger calms down slowly. Dean hands him back to Cas and then heads towards the Impala.  
    "Thank God I thought to grab my keys. Where's the nearest pet store?"


End file.
